Silver Lining

This past week for some strange reason, I lost my voice. I’ve never really experienced this before. I’ve had a cough before or maybe a scratchy throat, but I’ve never lost my voice. It has been interesting.(I'm sure others have enjoyed it more than I have!) I’m not sure yet what the cause is, but I really hope it gets better soon. If you know me, I love to talk and sing and it has been really hard not being able to do so.

Like many things, if you look hard enough, you can find some kind of silver lining. Well, I’m looking, but I am not sure I have found one yet. However, this morning, I did have an interesting experience and maybe it was actually a silver lining after all. I usually sing on our worship team or in the choir at our church. I LOVE to worship the Lord through music. It is my passion, my ministry and it brings me such great joy. I cannot imagine my life without it. My iTunes account is filled with over two thousand worship songs! That’s how much I love it!

Today when my husband and I went to church, we sat out in the congregation rather than being up on the stage in the choir like normal. I’ve had to do this before and it always gives me a different perspective on things, as it did today. I was not physically able to sing with my voice because I do not have one right now, so I had to “sing” in other ways. I am usually pretty expressive in worship anyway, but today I found myself wishing that I knew sign language so that I could express myself through that kind of “words”. At first, I found it hard to worship because I am so used to singing during worship. The choir sang a beautiful song and I grieved because I wanted to sing with them so badly. Then we moved on to the worship set. One of the songs that we did is a song called “From the Inside Out”. The lyrics and music are beautiful. I eventually closed my eyes and tried to focus on the lyrics and on the other voices around me. I went from grieving to worshiping pretty quickly. I had to work hard not to sing, but once I closed my eyes, my focus shifted. I began to really think about the lyrics. I found myself praying what I was “singing” in my head. Soon, my heart was fully involved in worship. I could feel God’s Presence in our Worship Center and in my heart. It was an incredible experience as I worshiped Him quietly. He is so worthy of our worship and praise. Every part of me was worshiping Him. I got lost in the moment. It was beautiful. It was not about me at all, but about HIM.

I really look forward to getting my voice back, but I am thankful for the worship that I experienced today in spite of my not being able to sing out with my voice. I am thankful that God prepared my heart through other people’s voices and got me ready to hear His Word being preached, and what a message it was! I am so thankful for our pastors who spend hours studying the Bible, and planning worship services so that we can learn about and worship the Lord in spirit and truth. I am also thankful that God is changing me from the inside out. (after all, what is in the heart is what comes out in my behavior-another blog for another day) My prayer is that He will consume me from the inside out like the song says, and that He will continue to transform my heart. I want to make Him first in my life. I pray that my offerings of praise will be pleasing to Him. He deserves our very best and that is what I want to give Him, whether it is with my voice or with my hands. Today gave me a new appreciation for being able to worship through singing. In some ways I have taken that for granted. God has put in me such a deep desire to worship Him through music. I look forward to getting over this crud and being able to sing to Him with everything I am worth. The Bible says to make a joyful noise. Well, today I was not able to do that physically, so I did it with my hands and with my smile. I lifted my face up to Him and offered Him a different kind of song – a quiet expression of worship from my heart. Even though I missed singing, it was a blessing to experience worship differently and quietly today.  I’ve included the lyrics of the song I mentioned. They are beautiful. Even as I type them now, I am listening to the song and my heart is worshiping Him again, quietly, without a single spoken word. I am so thankful for the gift of worship!

"From The Inside Out"(Hillsong Music – Joel Houston)

 A thousand times I've failed

 Still your mercy remains

 Should I stumble again

 Still I'm caught in your grace

 Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades

            Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul

 I give you control

 Consume me from the inside out

 Let justice and praise

 Become my embrace

 To love you from the inside out

 

Your will above all else

 My purpose remains

 The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

 Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades

 Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul

 I give you control

 Consume me from the inside out

 Let justice and praise

 Become my embrace

 To love you from the inside out

Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades

 Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

 And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise

 From the inside out

 Lord my soul cries out