Hi everyone! It’s been a while
since we’ve talked. There has been a LOT going on, some good, some, not so
much. A friend told me recently that she noticed that my blogs had gone a
little “dark”, and honestly, she was right (it did cause her to pray for me
because she knew something was up). My writing usually reflects where I am at
the time. Sometimes I struggle with how and what to write, depending on what is
going on. I love sharing what God teaches me as I walk through this life, but sometimes I do not have the
courage to share as honestly as I’d like to. Sometimes I need time to process
life’s happenings and other times, I just feel like I’m not really “qualified”
to write at all. But, I’ve got to keep writing. It ministers to my soul and by
God’s grace I pray that it ministers to yours as well.
I told another friend recently that
if I were completely honest with you all, I have not written because I sometimes
fear that God might just ask me to walk through what I am writing about if He
has not already asked me to do so, or in other words, that He might ask me to really, really practice what I preach.
Well of course I should practice what I preach! I hope I do. I try to. It is
the desire of my heart. My friends answer to this all was, “Terry Bob, (her
nick name for me), just write about your fears, be honest”, and so here it is.
(Side note…I’m SO thankful for my friends)
There have been so many challenges
lately. They have included a two and a half month long cancer scare (which
turned out fine, Praise God! Thanks to so many for your prayers!!), family
challenges, and because of the cancer testing, no arthritis meds for several
months. That has not been a pleasant experience. I have learned the hard way
just how much I really need those meds. I call them “poison” and I’m sure that
is what they are but without them, I have little quality of life. Sometimes I feel
like all I do is complain. Sometimes, I feel like I am no good to anyone because
my pain level prevents me from doing things that I once did easily. Well,
today, I do not want to complain. Today I want to choose joy! Today I want to
be thankful! Today, I want to LAUGH! Yes, I said laugh!
Earlier today, when I was returning
home from one of five doctor appointments this week, I was taking one of my
favorite routes home. I started thinking about writing a blog about seeing the
beauty of God’s creation even in the dead of winter. I could tell you about the
beautiful little blue bird that has been visiting our feeders recently and talk
about how we can find God even in the winter seasons of life. Instead, God filled
my head with the idea of a funny blog. I’ll warn you, I’m not a very funny
person, but I decided to go for it anyway. While driving down this scenic route
that meanders along a local river, I spotted a majestic bald eagle perched in a
tall tree. If it was summer time, I might have missed it. There I go again,
spotting beauty and reasons to smile even in the dead of winter.
For some odd reason (you’d have to
know me), that eagle took my mind from thinking about beauty in the winter to the idea of finding
humor even when every inch of your body hurts with the exception of your knees.
I just do not laugh as much as I used to. I thought about it and decided to
laugh rather than to cry, which frankly, is what I felt like doing after having
five different shots, physical therapy, 5 doctor appointments and an infusion
this week! Anyway, back to laughing. A mental picture flashed into my tiny
brain. It looked something like this, so try to imagine it with me. I am over
the hill (yes I really am), flying down that hill rapidly towards old age, and
with every bump that I seem to hit, I injure or wear out another body part!
Yes, I know, it doesn’t sound funny at all, and no, it really is not, but what
can a girl do? What good is crying going to do at this point? I’m also
picturing my friend, literally laughing at (or with) me as I roll down that
hill as fast as I can go, out of control. (Reminds me of my first skiing trip)Yes,
she is that kind of friend but that is one of the many things that I love about
her. I can hear her laughing now! After all, she did make me climb a tree one
time, and she taught me to dance in the rain. I used to be the kind of girl who
would never get her hair wet, but now thanks to her, I love dancing in the
rain. If it were raining right now, I’d go out and dance in her honor!
And, so, today, instead of
complaining about pain and about getting so many shots this week, that I’m
going to start leaking, I choose to laugh. At least for now, I’m going to laugh
out loud about the picture of me climbing trees and dancing in the rain with my
friend, and even more hilarious, me dressed in my pink active wear suit and
tennis shoes, rolling down the hill of life with as many bumps as a mogul ski
slope, eyes and mouth wide open, laughing all the way. That picture may not
make you laugh. It might even frighten you! (I warned you…I’m not that funny!) But
it sure feels good to laugh! I do not know what tomorrow brings. I am hoping
for less pain, and less doctor appointments, but if that does not happen, I
hope that I will still choose to look up, keep my eyes on the prize and smile.
I hope that if you are rapidly rolling
down a bumpy hill of life today that you will also be able to focus on
something beautiful and smile, or better yet laugh if you can. You are not
alone. If you are a child of the King, then He is with you. He knows and feels
your pain. He loves you and He is smiling over you.
God bless you and thanks for reading!
