Am I Really Paying Attention?

I don’t know if it because I am getting older and I am just more aware or whether it is just the world that we live in, but there seems to be more and more suffering. There has been suffering since the fall of man, but it seems to be so strong right now. There are people being killed for their faith, cancer is everywhere, planes are being shot out of the sky because of hatred, babies are being killed at alarming rates, suffering surrounds us. It is so tragic. My mind cannot understand it all and it breaks my heart in two. But God sees and understands. He sees the suffering and evil and He cares. He is still in control. He knows suffering very well.

 Today, I would like to focus on those who are suffering quietly, those who live next door, who sit next to us in church, or who sit at the receptionist desk at the doctor’s office, those who are quiet about their suffering. There is not news report about their circumstances, they don’t broadcast it to their friends or neighbors, and quite often most of us are too busy to even notice that they are hurting. Their lives may not be threatened for their faith but their suffering is just as real. Miscarriages, being abandoned by their spouse, childhood cancer, loss of a job, health issues, chronic pain, relational difficulties, watching a loved one suffer, and the list goes on. These are real issues that cause real pain.

 The difficult season that we have personally walked through this year has taught me a lot of things. I know that I still have so much more to learn. God has been trying to teach me about grace, prayer, trusting Him in trials, loving others better, joy in all circumstances and paying attention to those who suffer quietly. I have to admit, I don’t have all of this down. Nowhere close. I probably won’t on this side of Heaven, but hopefully I am learning, hopefully, as God works, I am being transformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ. This season has caused me to starve for His Word, and to go to dear friends and ask them often for prayer. I am so thankful for prayer warriors and I want to become more of one myself. I treasure those who genuinely care and who genuinely pray.

 So, I want to pay closer attention to those who are hurting quietly. I want to slow down enough to look into people’s eyes so that I don’t miss someone who needs a smile or a hug, or more importantly, a prayer. I want to listen well when they are speaking, especially when I ask how they are doing. I want to care enough to really listen to their answer and then respond in a kind, caring and gentle way. I want to offer them the hope of Jesus Christ. I want to love those who are different than me, and even those who don’t like me or whom I rub the wrong way. I want to be more gracious and less judgmental. After all, I was offered the greatest gift of grace that ever existed, even though I am the least deserving. I want to be less busy, so that I can take time for others, spend time with friends, and care about those who are quietly suffering, but who are too weary to ask for help or to afraid to ask for a listening ear. I have the One who gave His life for others, so shouldn’t I have time to stop and care for those who are hurting? I need to make time. I am on this earth to shine the light of Jesus on those who are living in the dark.

 Yesterday, in church, during the invitation time, I was quietly standing in my usual spot, too weary to sing out loud, but quietly praising God in my heart and a sweet friend took the time to slide over to where I was standing just to pray for my family. It brought me immediately to tears (yes, I am a one of those, I cry at Hallmark commercials). It meant more than she will ever know, though I have tried to thank her. It meant so much that she took the time to look at my eyes and see the weariness, and to pray right there on the spot. I cannot keep this blessing to myself. I have to share it. So, the next time I see or hear about someone who is suffering quietly, I hope that I am paying close enough attention to stop, and pray for them, and give them a smile or a hug. It is the least I can do. I am so thankful for those who have continued to hug us, to call us or just to give us a smile, and we are especially grateful for those who don’t give up on us and who keep praying. It is because of your prayers and God’s goodness that we can continue on. We are okay. We have a new normal. We believe that God has a purpose and that He will continue to provide. Not every day is easy, but because of those faithful friends, The Faithful Friend, and their love, we press on. God bless you. You know who you are. We love you dearly and we will not keep the blessing to ourselves, we will share them. We will pass them on. Thank you!

 

 

 

Searching for Rainbows

Sometimes dreams don’t come true.

Sometimes the rain never stops.

Sometimes the pain never ends.

Sometimes we don’t understand.

Sometimes grief overtakes us.

Sometimes we have to watch our precious loved ones suffer.

Sometimes the ones we love hurt us the most.

Sometimes it is hard to see God’s plan.

Sometimes the healing doesn’t come.

Sometimes the best thing and the only thing that we can do is to pray for those who are hurting.

Sometimes the rainbows don’t come, but even when they do not, God’s promises are still true-always.

Today, we had lots of violent thunder storms, and at one point the sun was shining beautifully and it was raining at the same time. I hurried out to the deck and the front porch to see if I could spot a beautiful rainbow, but it never came. Sometimes they just do not come.

Sometimes, God allows us to walk through challenging circumstances, sometimes many at one time. These past several months, I’ve spoken to so many dear friends who are walking through some very heart wrenching situations. My own family is currently going through several difficult circumstances at one time. At times, my heart is so overwhelmed and heavy that my body can hardly carry it. Some days, I long for rainbows and sunshine instead of constant rain and crashing waves. My heart aches for my friends and loved ones who are struggling through some of the most difficult circumstances ever. I wish that I could do something. And I can. I can love them. I can serve them, hug them and walk with them. I can listen. And most importantly, I can pray.

And, I can remember that even when God chooses not to send a rainbow, He is faithful. He is trustworthy. He is in control. He knows. He sees. He understands. His plans are higher than ours. He is there, in the grief, in the confusion, in the worry, in the fear. He is there in the joy, in the pain, in the clouds and in the rain. He goes before me, before my friends and family. He loves them more than even I do and He knows best what they (and I) need. So, when He does not send the rainbows, we need to hold on to what we know about Him. Hold on to the truth. Hold on to His promises. Remember how faithful He has already been and keep watching, because eventually, I believe the rainbow will come. His mercies are new every single day. Joy will come in the morning. Praise God! Hang on friends. Hang on to Jesus.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV)

“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5 (NLT)

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.” (It is Well With My Soul, Horatio G. Spafford, 1873)

 

  

Am I Brave? Are you?

     Those of you who know me closely know that our family has been going through some challenging circumstances for what seems like a very long time. Many people who we know and love are walking through some pretty tough times as well. But isn’t that the way with life? I read recently that life is like a pair of railroad tracks, we move along these tracks of life experiencing both joy and sorrow at the same time, much of the time. I find this to be very true. In case you are interested, the book is called, Choose Joy, Because Happiness is Not Enough, by Kay Warren. Two different friends recommended this book and I agree with them, it’s a wonderful book. It’s interesting how God often leads me to read a particular book for during a particular season. This one is spot on.

     When I am not running someone to the doctor’s office (which I seem to do a lot lately), I try to find time to do some reading, or studying, but once in a while, I just want to vegetate on the couch and watch a useless talent reality show. Today I was watching one of those kinds of shows and there was a young mom on there who has a very rare disease that causes her to lose her hair and to “feel very ugly and to want to hide from everyone”. She explained that for years she hid and was so afraid of coming out in public, yet at some point she became brave enough to break through her shame and fear, and to eventually go on this TV show to audition. As I listened to her, I was amazed at how brave she seemed. And, to top that off, her new found talent was spinning high in the air on a long flowing piece of beautiful fabric, twirling and dancing in the air in front of thousands of people! That is brave! It was a beautiful aerial dance.

      Watching this television show caused me to ask myself a question that I have often asked myself. Whenever I watch people who for whatever reason are able to overcome their fears and to chase their dreams, I wonder what happened to me when God was handing out the courage badges. Why am I not one of these brave and talented souls? Why can’t I be strong and courageous? As I thought about this throughout the day, I really did not have an answer to my question immediately and I will probably ask myself again, but it did cause me to go to the Scriptures and that is always a good thing.

     Just in my short search, I found an abundance of verses encouraging believers to “be strong and courageous”, to “fear not”, to trust God, to be peaceful, and to remember that we are never alone because He will “never leave us or forsake us”. This is just a scattering of God’s wonderful words that remind us that He is with us and that He goes before us, so we do not need to fear what is coming around the bend of life’s railroad tracks. He’s already there, ahead of us and He will keep us on track if we move along with Him, in His way.

      In this last year or so, God has been speaking to me over and over about peace, about trust, about grace and recently, about joy. Joy in all circumstances. Trust me, I don’t have a handle on all that He is trying to teach me, but I do know that according to His Word, He wants me to be courageous. He wants me to experience peace and He wants me to enjoy abundant life and true joy. Not the kind of joy or peace that the world offers, but a peace that endures into eternity, and courage that depends on God and His power, and not on me.

     I may never be the kind of girl that twirls high in the air on a small piece of fabric in front of thousands of people on television, but I did climb a very tall tree once. (Thanks to a very good friend and her strong encouragement) And, I have stood on a stage in church and worshipped God, singing a solo, when my knees were knocking so hard that I thought people could hear them knocking across the street! By God’s grace, I have raised two sweet sons and homeschooled them both all the way through high school. And, I have watched my loved ones suffer and I have gone bravely before the throne of God begging on their behalf for healing, comfort, hope, peace and salvation. I guess that’s pretty brave! I thank God that He is teaching me about peace, courage, trust and joy. Sometimes the lessons are not easy, because I’m a slow learner, but He is so patient with me and so merciful towards me.

      If you are struggling with fear of any kind today, check out these beautiful stories about some folks who, with God’s help, overcame some pretty challenging stuff. Pull out your Bible, dust it off and read the stories of Joshua, Moses, Ruth, King David, Mary, the mother of Jesus, and the bravest story ever – the story of our Savior as He bravely hung on the Cross on our behalf so that we could walk this earth knowing that He alone is our source of courage. He alone will guide us along the railroad tracks of our life and He will be waiting for us in our eternal home when it is time for us to pull into eternity.

     God bless you and thank you for reading!

 

 

The Face of.....

            God has really been trying to teach me some pretty difficult lessons lately. At least the way He’s teaching me feels difficult, but as thick as my skull is I can understand why. I can be pretty stubborn at times. I’ve been waking up way too early these days, so I do a lot of thinking about what God is trying to teach me and I do a lot of praying. It is my deepest desire to be like Christ and to live a life that is both pleasing and honoring to Him. Many times I fall short of that, but thankfully He is very gracious.

            Am I as gracious to others as He is to me? I wish I could say yes, but not really. As usual, this reminds me of a story, and a recent lesson. I have this t-shirt that I got when I made a donation to the Arthritis Foundation. It says, “I am the face of arthritis.” I usually wear it around the house when I know I’m not going out. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m not sure how folks would react to me while wearing it. I just don’t wear it that often for some reason, but it makes me think.

            This past Sunday, I attended church without my husband. He was traveling and I was on my own. I’ve really felt out of touch at church lately, which is not usual for us, but with mom’s recent hospitalization and her now living with us, things are a bit different and we’ve had to pull back from serving in our favorite ministries for a time. We make it there when we can. I sort of felt lost without my husband there. I felt a little lonely, even in the midst of lots of people. I know it sounds silly, but it is very possible to feel lonely in a large crowd, at least for me anyway, and I would suspect for others as well. I quickly found a group of young folks to sit with and was greatly blessed by the service.

            At the end of the service, everyone was buzzing around doing their thing and busy greeting friends. I felt weird, even a bit out of place. I made my way out of the worship center and went to ask someone a question. I received what felt like a short, distracted answer and the two people I was talking immediately turned away and went back to chatting and visiting. I’m not going to lie, it hurt my feelings a bit. (I know, I’m so silly) Anyway, I stood there a moment and after realizing that they were not going to talk to me, I picked up my toys (my Bible, journal and purse) and went home. The house was quiet, so I took it to the Lord in prayer. (After a brief pity party) As always, I needed to stop pointing the finger at others and turn it back to myself. I feel pretty sure that these two ladies did not intentionally ignore me, or mean to hurt my feelings.

            I have done the same thing to people I am sure. You get busy at church, chasing kids, serving, talking to friends, rushing home to make lunch, socializing, etc. and you don’t even notice that someone is trying to get your attention. I would never intentionally do this, but I know I’ve done it. We all have. How does this relate to my t-shirt you ask? Well, we all have different faces don’t we? You know the ones. Plaster on a smile and tell folks you are fine. Well, I have discovered that there are many people who are hurting in lots of different ways. They may not be hurting physically like I do with my arthritis, they may be hurting in the hearts, or there may be hidden scars, but most of us have experienced some kind of pain…cancer scars, infertility, abuse, loneliness, rejection, an unfaithful spouse, hidden sin, shame, insecurity, and a host of other issues. Most people don’t realize that I struggle with a debilitating arthritis. Most of the time I try to mask it, but I truly am the face of arthritis. Most people don’t know that my dear friend suffered through breast cancer for more than a year because she stays strong, and keeps a really good attitude. She is the face of cancer. Most don’t know that my other friends deal with physical pain every day, or with deep emotional scars because if we don’t see it, we don’t really know it’s there, especially if we are not looking. They are the faces of pain and hurt.

            Here is the lesson for me from all of this. Am I really looking? Am I really listening? Do I really care? Am I really looking at these faces? At these hearts? Jesus did, and He does. During His short time walking this earth, He looked, He listened, He cared. He touched. He healed. He comforted. He laughed and cried with people. He took their hands and looked them right into the eyes. He stopped long enough to really see. He did not ignore them or get too busy to notice the lonely, the sick, the lost, the dying, the sad, the weary. He cared enough to really care. This is a BIG lesson for me. Whether I’m at home helping to care for my sweet momma, standing alone in church or surrounded by a bunch of my dearest friends, I need to be looking closely enough that I don’t miss someone who really needs a hug or a touch.

            I’ll give you a really good example. This week a dear friend of mine surprised us and stopped by for a visit. My mom was having a very hard day. She has been through so much and continues to fight hard to get better but she was struggling that day. She has lost a lot and is grieving over her loss. She came out of her room, swollen eyes from crying and immediately apologized to my friend for her tears. What happened next? My friend took her hands, hugged her so gently and listened. She let her cry on her shoulder. Then she looked her in the eyes and told her some very sweet and encouraging words. She acknowledged mom’s hurt and cared enough to encourage her in it. It was such a beautiful moment. I so appreciated her taking the time to love on mom. This friend is an inspiration to me. I love her dearly.

            This beautiful scene along with my t-shirt convicted my heart. Lately, I seem to get frustrated with folks more quickly than normal. I am tired (no excuse) and some days are hard, so my ugly side rears its head more often than I’d like to admit. I let little things annoy me. I get lonely. I miss serving at church. I feel like life is moving on without me. Sometimes I take it out on the ones I love most. Ugh! That’s not how I want to be at all! That silly t-shirt taught me a lesson, or at least God used it to teach me a lesson. The next time someone tries to talk to me or get my attention, whether at church or at home, I want to be like Jesus and take the time to really listen and love them well. I do not ever want to make someone feel rejected. The next time I see someone standing alone at church, I’m going to make sure I extend kindness to them and say hello and ask how they are doing…and really listen to their answer. Jesus touched more lives in three years on this earth than I’ll ever touch in a lifetime most likely. But, that does not mean I should stop trying.

            Instead of feeling sorry for myself the next time I feel ignored or rejected, I need to turn around and look for someone who needs a hug. Instead of withdrawing into that seemingly safe place of hermitville, I need to pick up the phone and call someone who has been missing at church lately, or send a note to a hurting friend. A hug or a note goes a really long way. Well, now that God has pointed out these things, I’d better get off of this computer and do something about it. I hope these simple words encourage you to do the same today. Make that call. Offer that hug. Send someone flowers (I just this moment got some flowers from my sweet husband, I love that man!) Look someone in the eyes and give them your full attention. I promise you, it’ll make their day, and yours. God bless and thanks for reading.

In the quietness…

             Lately it has been very challenging to have some quiet time to myself. I miss that so much. I love people and being around people, but I must have quiet time too or I turn into this person that I do not like very much. This morning I woke up before anyone else. Our son’s friend was snoring on the couch, our son was still asleep, my mom, who is living with us right now was also still asleep and I had the house all to myself. It was a wonderful gift. I have so longed for that kind of quietness lately. The stillness was so peaceful. I looked out at the blanket of snow and it was a beautiful picture of peace. Nothing was moving except a few birds scratching for food and a bit of a breeze gently blowing the tree branches. So, so peaceful and so quiet. I was truly thankful for that moment in the quiet. Immediately, I was reminded of a Scripture. I hurriedly looked up what I knew of it.

             The Scripture that came to mind both encouraged me and convicted me. Isaiah 30:15 says, “This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.” (emphasis mine) I have read this verse many times, but usually not in its entirety. There are both promises and warnings in it I think. As I sat in the Pink Room enjoying the stillness, I read the verse over and over. I was longing for the quiet. I was longing for time with my Lord in the stillness of the morning. I was longing to hear from Him, to feel the warmth of His Presence. I needed His strength. I needed peace. He gave it to me. All I had to do was sit quietly and listen. He is so good. There is no peace like the peace He gives.

               The warning that I saw in this verse really caught my attention. God told His people that they could have rest and salvation, in repentance. He promised strength through quietness and trust. He promised me the same things this morning. I already belong to Him, for which I am eternally grateful. I am so thankful for the quietness with Him this morning. I am so thankful for the strength. I need it. I need Him. I cannot do the tasks that He has called me to without His strength. I cannot love well without Him and I cannot walk this season or any other without Him.

             The warning: He says that His people “would have none of it.” Whoa! That one hit me like a brick in the quiet this morning. Do I trust Him as I should? Do I depend fully on Him as my strength or do I try to do everything on my own and to satisfy my own selfish longings? Have I repented of the sin in my life? Do I take the time to sit quietly before Him so that He can fill me up in order to be poured out for others? Do you? Have you? I am sure that any of you reading this have days as full as mine. I am sure your time is very precious. I am sure that it is as difficult for you as it is for me to find a quiet place and time to sit with Him in trust and just to listen to what He has to say to me through His Word. But, for me, if I do not, I get into serious trouble, very serious trouble. I become selfish, tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, resentful, along with a host of other negative emotions. I must have time with Him. When I do not, I become pretty useless. And I do not want to be useless. I want to spend every moment loving Him more and loving others better so that they will see Jesus and be drawn to Him. My purpose is to worship Him. It is all about Him, and never about me.

             My quiet time is ending now as I finish writing this. I can hear movement in the rest of the house. I don’t want this time to end. I don’t want to leave this moment. The good news is that I don’t have to. Yes, I have to get out of my favorite chair in the Pink Room. I have to put my Bible away and I have to get busy with the rest of the day. But, I do not have to walk away from Him. I can talk to Him throughout my day. He is ALWAYS there. He goes before me and walks with me. All I have to do is walk with Him. Even in the busiest times, if I listen closely enough, I can still hear Him saying, “Terry, it is in quietness and trust that I will be your strength today and every day.” Can you hear Him saying something like that to you? Shhh….listen….quietly listen. Take time to breathe in the only oxygen that can truly fill your spiritual lungs. Breathe deeply, very deeply as if your life depends on it, because it does. Before I get up, I am taking in a few more deep breaths. In and out, in and out I inhale His peace. I inhale His promises. I inhale His love, healing, comfort and joy. Things are getting noisy out there in the other rooms. Things are started to wake up outside. It’s time. Deep breathing. Time to get moving. But I am not moving alone. He moves with me like two beautiful dancers move…together. He is with me. He IS my oxygen. He is my strength. He is hope. He is love. He is peace. He is the One whom I depend on. He will help me as I move through this day as long as I keep my focus on Him.

I pray that these simple words encourage you today. May God richly bless you with His presence and peace as you walk through your day today.

Am I Acting Like the Rich Young Ruler?

             We have had some challenging days in recent months. Many of you who know us well know that my sweet momma got very sick and we almost lost her several times. She spent 40+ days in the hospital, and most of those days were without improvement. The first 30 days were a full blown nightmare. The hospital made huge errors and the doctors disagreed on her diagnosis and stopped treating her, like I said, a nightmare. She was sent to rehab before her body was ready and she relapsed in a few days and ended up in the ER of another local hospital. This hospital helped to turn everything around. What a difference it makes when doctors actually care about their patients. Within a week or so, she was off of oxygen, getting stronger and is now at our house recovering. She has a long road ahead of her, but she is moving forward. We give all glory to God for her improvement, and we are SO grateful for so many of you praying for her and for us. We would appreciate your continued prayers as she recovers.

             Now, back to the rich young ruler….sort of. Because of all of the stuff with my momma, life has been quite different in our household. I am NOT complaining, just stating fact. Full time care giving is not for wimps! It’s often a tough job. Many simple things that you would normally take for granted become very challenging when you are responsible for someone’s full time care. Even the smallest things can be hard to accomplish when a person needs twenty-four hour care. Again, I am not complaining, just stating reality. It is truly my honor to help to take care of my momma, even on the most difficult days.

             In the past week, my own health has added to this challenge. Most of the time, I can push through it and just keep going. Most of the time, you would never know that I have a chronic disease, but this past week, it hit me like a brick wall and I was almost down for the count. I had two options, to turn to the Lord and seek His loving, gracious hand for help, or I could have my own private pity party. Well, I’m really ashamed to admit that I went for the pity party. I was pity-partying so hard that I got sick of myself. I’m sure my family probably suffered a bit with me while I wallowed in my party of self-inflicted despair. I was totally pathetic. As a dear friend of mine would say, “Have mercy”.

             What does this have to do with the rich young ruler found in Matthew 19 and Mark 10? A lot, as a matter of fact. Because of our current circumstances, I have found it a bit difficult to steal away time to keep up on my personal Bible study, but finally this morning I knew I had NO choice but to spend some extended time with God in His Word. I could not subject my loved ones to that pathetic me any longer without some solitude with the Lord!

             I pulled out my Bible and read about the young man in Matthew 19. He wanted to know what he must do in order to have eternal life. Jesus reminded him of two very important commandments - to love God and to love others more than himself. He asked the young man to sell all of his possessions and to give them to the needy. The young man thought he had done a pretty good job of keeping all of the commandments. He was not a murderer or a thief after all. But Jesus reminded him that none of us are good enough or righteous enough on our own, none of us keep all of the commandments. That’s why Jesus died on the Cross to save us. Not one of us is perfect like He was. Every one of us has told a lie. Every one of us has worshiped idols -our stuff, our kids, our spouses, our church, ourselves…yes I said ourselves.

             Well, this morning, during my pity party, I turned to God for comfort. I wanted Him to “fix” some things for me. But be careful what you ask for. God shot straight to my heart. He did not promise to fix my circumstances. He didn’t say that He was going to talk to those folks who frustrate me or hurt me. He didn’t say any of that. As I read His Word and studied about that rich young man who just wanted to be saved, I saw a lot of myself in him. I was quickly convicted. I’m the one that needing fixing.

             The young man thought he had it all together. From the world’s perspective he did. He had social status, he had wealth and possessions and he thought he was obeying all of the written commandments. His problem was that he was missing two very important issues. First, he was choosing many other things over God. He loved his wealth more than he loved Jesus. Scripture says that he walked away from Jesus that day “sad”. He chose worldly possessions over the Presence of the living God. Secondly, he cared more about himself than others. He was unwilling to even give up even a small portion of all of his wealth to help his brothers and sisters in need. He cared more about himself than anyone else.

             Well, how does this relate to me? Let me count the ways. I’m going to be very honest here. Hopefully you will not judge me. These last few months have been very hard in too many ways to list here, for all of our family, not just me. But, the bottom line is that this is where God has us right now. It makes me very sad to see my mom suffer. It makes me sad that all of our lives have changed. Sometimes I even become a little resentful because I sometimes feel like we have little help and it all feels unfair. I think all of these feelings are pretty normal and human. But, I’m not a normal human. (No comments please, I know I’m nowhere close to normal!) I am a believer in Jesus Christ and therefore, I must act like one. I, like the rich young man, can tend to get a little selfish. Sometimes I just want a little time to myself, or time with my husband, or sometimes I get so tired that I feel like I’m going crash and burn. Guess what, it’s not really about me is it?

             The truth is, that if God has got me in this season, then He is going to sustain me through it. He has and is going to provide for us and for mom. He is going to meet all of our needs. My job is to love Him, trust Him and act like Him. I am to love Him more than anyone or anything else, even above my own selfish desires. I am to love others more than I love myself. And sometimes that means serving when I’m exhausted or giving up some much needed time with my sweet husband, or even missing church for a Sunday or two. It’s hard for us humans (at least it is for me) to swallow this because most of us are very self-centered. I need to be more Christ-centered and less self-centered. I’m not saying that these other things are not important, because there always needs to be healthy boundaries. I do need to spend time with my family and my husband, and I look forward to making it to church, and I really look forward to a time when I can just run a quick errand without calling in the additional cavalry. But for now, this is where we find ourselves, and I must trust God’s hand in it.

             I want to close with a quote from my BSF lesson. It said this, “Do you find that you prefer lesser things to Jesus and the joy of His presence?” (Bible Study Fellowship, lesson 21, p. 6) That was one of the strongest arrows straight to my heart this morning after studying in the book of Matthew. I do not want to find myself in the shoes of the rich young ruler. I want to treasure Jesus and His Presence more than anything. I want to always love God more than I love myself or anyone else, and I also want to be the kind of person who puts others before myself. After all, that is what I was created for – loving God and loving others. Thankfully, I belong to a very gracious and forgiving God. As soon as I finished reading this morning, I asked Him to forgive me for my selfish pity party and I picked myself up and started all over again, with a fresh perspective on our current circumstances. God is so good and His mercies are new every morning! Amen!